


Under the LED lights

by messaesthetic



Category: Haikyuu!!, UshiTen - Fandom - Fandom
Genre: #tendou, #ushijima, #ushijimawakatoshi, #wakatoshiushijima, Alternate Universe, Angst, BL, Fandom, Fanfic, Fluff and Angst, Freeform, Haikyuu Month, Haikyuu!! OT3+ Week, I Wrote This Instead of Sleeping, M/M, Shiratorizawa, Ushiten Week, Yaoi, aesthetic, escape reality, nolemon, tendousatori, ushiten
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-28
Updated: 2020-08-28
Packaged: 2021-03-06 21:21:16
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 17
Words: 19,618
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26155657
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/messaesthetic/pseuds/messaesthetic
Summary: •ANGST ALERT•[18+ as the younger readers might not enjoy the type of writing I use. The story might be too profound to comprehend or be interesting for younger readers.]•NO lemon•[⚠️ WARNING: The story will contain LSD & hidden mention of suicide. These subjects can be triggering to some people. ]— I don't own any of the characters as they belong to Haruichi Furudate from their manga: Haikyuu!! —{I suggest you listen to the soundtracks I recommend in each chapters to be more in the aesthetic mood while reading.}Plot:A young 19 year old red haired, Tendou Satori, feels alone in his new university until he meets Ushijima Wakatoshi on his way home. Tendou is not a big fan of social interactions, but remains close to his new friend until his feelings take over. This very close friendship will lead our two favourite characters on unforgettable aesthetic night adventures, which will allow Satori to escape reality.
Relationships: Semi Eita/Shirabu Kenjirou, Tendou Satori/Ushijima Wakatoshi
Comments: 207
Kudos: 1820
Collections: 5iits collection, Have Read





	1. Late

The hard, violent rain started to fall on a Monday morning. An alarm could be heard in the room of a man. Exhausted, he turned his head towards his phone that activated the melancholic music and turned it off. The rough winds whistled as it made the boy's curtains fly, gently touching his head, surprising him. The phone immediately rang, but the young adult ignored it. Entering his bathroom, he quickly brushed his teeth and hair after exiting his room. He went into the kitchen to grab a piece of buttered toast left on the counter. His roommate, Semi, must have prepared it for him before he left for school. He was very empathetic and cared a lot about the red-haired man. Tendou glanced at the clock, thinking he would have time to go to the store to buy some food for lunch today. It read 7:17 a.m. It took the 6'2 inch tall man five good seconds before reacting to the hand on the clock, betokening he was late. 

"I am so late!" 

He grabbed his bag and umbrella as fast as possible, running towards the door. Crossing the threshold, he slammed the door behind him opening his voicemails as he kept running at the same pace with the toast between his thin lips. Semi called three times to make sure the blood-colored eye boy woke up on time for his first day in university. 

"Hi, Tendou, it's Semi. Are you awake yet? Class is starting soon. Call me back when you receive this voicemail."

Tendou dialed Semi's phone number but tripped on a slippery rock causing his phone to slip out of his strong hands. Even his long fingers couldn't reach the flying phone. His whole body began following the movement of the electronic device as the piece of bread flew out of his wide-open mouth, letting out a little gasp until his chest was first to land on the wet pavement. The screen of his cellphone was destroyed. The rain was lighter, creating a dull sound. Drops falling on the fallen man's back. He looked as if he gave up on going to his destination. Slow gestures were made as Tendou weakly tried to turn his body to lay on his back, contemplating the raindrops landing on his pale skin, making him look like he cried. He grinned as a soft chuckle escaped his throat. 

"It's okay if I'm late... I've experienced worse in my life."

The young man moved his head to the left, seeing his broken phone, sitting a few feet away. His facial expression rapidly turned into a discouraging look. He gave himself a small boost of energy to place himself up. He was now sitting cross-legged. His wet, dirty hand reached his cracked device and brought it closer to his curbed body, wiping the gravel that got stuck between the cracks. Tendou finally got back to his feet and began to walk at a normal pace. The disappointed look on his face revealed that his phone was done for. It couldn't be turned on anymore. He tilted his head back, taking a deep breath as he let the delicate wind blow on his face, making his soaked hair dance in the cool air. As he looked down, a big building suddenly appeared in his eyes. 

The university the slim man attended had four floors. Unfortunately, his class was on the last one; therefore, he had to run with the little strength he had left after his unfortunate incident. Feeling drained of energy, Tendou Satori entered the humongous construction. And as soon as he set foot in the loud hall, other students had their eyes set on him. Everyone gave the poor man dirty looks, but Tendou did not have a reason to confront them, as they were all irrelevant to him. He was used to all of the cruel looks on their faces, sizing him up and judging him for the way he looked. (We can definitely say he gets his fair share of attention regularly.) Climbing the stairs was fatiguing for the half-asleep man. Thankfully, he got to the top floor safely and briskly began walking towards his biology class. His trembling hands touched the door handle and steadily rotated it before hearing a small, rapid squeaking sounds. The class was already started, but everyone stopped doing what they were doing to lay their eyes on the bullied boy. 

Tendou's face turned into a disheartening look. Feeling his heart drop, he decided not to take notice of anyone's grin. However, he did notice a kid was ready to begin bursting out laughing. As soon as Satori sat down, he frowned, which forced everyone to turn their attention back to their professor. Except for one. 

"Why are you in your pajamas?"

Says the boy giggling and grinning, placing his hand in front of his teeth. Tendou's eyes widened as his eyes gradually began moving down to check his clothes out. He quickly looked back in front of him, sweating and biting down on his lip.

"FU-" 


	2. Under the LED lights

[Before continuing to chapter 2: I ADDED A PLAYLIST ON MY SPOTIFY! IF YOU GO ON THERE AND TYPE: "UNDER THE LED LIGHTS SOUNDTRACKS" (By the way, Messa Roux is my name on this app) YOU CAN LISTEN TO THE MUSIC EVERY TIME I INDICATE IT! DO NOT START THE NEXT SOUNDTRACKS BEFORE IT SAYS SO.] 

If you wish to use any other app like YouTube, Apple Music, iTunes, SoundCloud, etc. Go ahead! You'll have to look up the songs every time it says so though.

• • •

The tense air in the room drastically turned the atmosphere gloomy, darkening the entire room. Thirty minutes have passed in the embarrassed man's class. His head folded against his arms, Satori was paying little attention to the professor's words that were coming out of his mouth. The red head's eyes were worn out, as he could scarcely keep them open. However, an unexpected hairy hand met the table's wooden texture next to his straight hair. 

"Satori!" 

Tendou flinched, looking up to see the tutor's miffed look on his face. There was something hidden behind his visage of discouragement. This man definitely wanted to mock Tendou. The boy's extensive eyes were fixated at the older man with such intensity that he forgot to respond. Frozen by fear, Tendou formed his words at an exceedingly sedated pace moving his lips with barely any strength. 

" I... hi." 

On the other hand, the class professor spat out his words at a rather fast pace interrupting the poor university student by nearly insulting him in front of the class. Tendou bobbed his head and began to redden as he felt uneasy and was reluctant to raise his head to confront the professor and his seemingly unfair action. Why would someone recognized as a professional sound so cruel and very... unprofessional?

"Men like you won't be able to survive." 

Those words echoed in Satori's head. Confused, he stood up and slightly rotated his feet facing the exit door. As he grabbed his books, Tendou placed one foot in front of the other before repeating the same motion until he reached the threshold. The saddened boy quietly exited the class in the direction of the library. Once his body left the room, the student placed the book he held close to his chest, hiding his beating, hurting heart. As he clenched his fists out of anger and sorrow, Tendou tried to avoid the tears that were fighting to be free and ready to roll down his face. The sound of thunder and lightning could be heard rumbling outside, but the young, damaged man could care less. The library was less than ten meters away, and when Satori arrived, he pushed the door that was already semi-open. No one was inside but the librarian. A soft and weary sigh escaped his throat before he started walking towards the first table available. He slowly leaned back on the black wooden chair with a faded smile formed out of relief as he sat down. 

"Ah, I am alone... finally."

Five hours passed, and Tendou was peacefully resting his head on the table instead of studying. He was in a deep sleep until a random, unknown student tapped his shoulder. He lazily opened his eyes as he slowly raised his head. Saliva stuck between his arm and lower lip. He had very dark circles under his drowsy eyes. Thus he couldn't open one of them. The sleepy student forced a weak smile showing his teeth, causing the other one to grimace. Despite the unfriendly student's reaction, Tendou chuckled as he disregarded him. He stood up, which caused the chair to be pushed and make a squeaky sound. The spiteful man, who had the guts to give Tendou a vicious look, rapidly covered his ears because of the obnoxious screeching sound.   
Tendou turned around, left his books without caring, and turned his head to observe the man's unpleasant expression taking advantage of the amusing moment. He smirked as he kept walking.

[Listen to: Then the quiet explosion" by Hammock]

It was now 7 P.M. The red-haired man walked home under the light rainy night. He splashed water on the pavement by walking right into the puddles. Tendou enjoyed doing so since he was a little boy. The day went by exceptionally fast for him, which wasn't bad at all. He grew to despise long and unnecessary days that tend to occur in his life. The rain gently falling on the ground gave a sparkled and shiny appearance to the pavement's grey color that usually seemed boring on a normal, sunny day. Looking down, Tendou took action by lifting his head back up to see where he was strolling. Red LED lights lit the city, but the rest was drowned out in the pitch-black night. Surrounded by faint raindrops, Tendou drew a breath of fresh air as he heard silent footsteps approaching. As soon as he turned around to see where the strange taping was coming from, he saw a tall silhouette. This unknown shadow seemed strong, rough, heavy, and dangerous looking. Nothing was actually scaring him, so he decided to stay where he was and intensely stared at the dark figure until the bright red lights revealed a buff, serious man. His hair appeared to be greenish in color, as well as his eyes. He seemed to be wearing a tight form fitted grey shirt and a pair of skinny jeans. The water falling from the sky made his shirt wet, and his muscles and his skin could be seen through it. Tendou presumed that the brawny man was freezing, but he just glared at him for five full seconds before placing a word. 

" Is everything alright, sir? Do you need help? You seem to be quite soaked."

The taller man didn't answer. A long pause occurred before Satori turned around and began to walk away. However, as he began to move his legs, the odd, muscular man followed his movements. One of Tendou's eyebrows frowned as the opposite lower eyelid twitched. A grin can be seen on his drained looking face. He violently turned back around.

" I said, do you need any help? Why are you following me like that? It's creepy." 

Tendou immediately regretted those words thinking the intimidating man would tell him not to call him creepy since he, himself, is creepy looking. But, by his surprise, that man finally spoke with a deep, smooth voice. 

"My name is Ushijima Wakatoshi." 

Tendou's eyes widened. He was astonished to the point he couldn't answer back, nor greet him. It was weird seeing someone having a normal conversation with him, considering he was judged by most of the other people he had met. They reject him because of his thunderous behavior, so it's heartwarming to meet someone different. Ushijima already sounds different from others, and Tendou had met him only a few minutes ago. This was the start of a better life for the dejected young adult. Finally, he would have a real friend. Placing a light smile on his face, Satori eventually answered.

"My name is Tendou Satori. Nice to meet you." 

"I see. It is nice weather tonight. Would you like to go for a walk? I'm a bit lonely."

Now, if this was not the sketchiest thing that has ever happened to Tendou, then it is quite up there. Japan has the lowest crime rate, and Tendou could defend himself incase Wakatoshi was a menacing gang member. Not to mention he looked way too innocent to know how to injure a depressed soul like Tendou's. The confused boy's blood vessels opened wide, flooding the skin with blood causing Tendou to blush slightly. He was more than content to be invited on an evening adventure. Without showing his joyful expression much, he smiled to the athletic man before accepting his offer, with pleasure.

*And here it begins, my happier life... by meeting him under the LED lights.*


	3. We’re not afraid to die, we’re afraid to live

[Listen to Circular as our own way - Hammock]

The rain has stopped, and the two men ambled along the dampened road. The shorter of the two moved his hands inside the dim sweater's pocket he owned. Not knowing what to discuss, Tendou swiftly glanced at the ripped mysterious individual next to him. As soon as his bright red eyes budged, Wakatoshi was already staring at his pale skin and worried features. Tendou didn't look away. Instead, the movement of his delicate lips curved slightly to reveal an endearing smile. Ushijima didn't smirk back, but he felt like he had to add a little bit of energy in their current, gloomy adventure. 

"Wanna be friends?"

Tendou's trembling lips, caused by the breezy climate, snapped back to their previous position. His heart was beating faster than usual. He didn't know what this type of feeling was as he has never felt appreciation and was never liked by anyone. Suddenly, his feet ceased to move. This obliged the taller gent to stop strolling in his turn, noticing that Satori has stopped walking. Tears couldn't be brought to an end as the poor confused boy whimpered, gazing at the first person who ever respected him. His lower eyelids were half closed as the tears caused his vision to blur out. Despite his watery eyes, he could see Wakatoshi walk towards his fragile body. Bawling was the only option as the howling couldn't be stopped until the strong man unexpectedly wrapped his muscular arms around the slim, sobbing fellow. They both stayed in each other's arms for a while. Well, Tendou did, since he didn't embrace Ushijima back. The rarity of this act lulled the frail man into a certain sense of security. 

"You can stop hugging me now."

Satori said, sniffing. The puny adult's lifted his shaky hands, grasping his new friend's arms. Accepting his offer, Tendou thanked Ushijima for being so agreeable with him. A bridge could be seen in the green-haired man's eyes. His thick fingers gently touched Tendou's left forearm to indicate that he should turn around and look at the lit viaduct behind them. As both companions wandered in the direction of the massive structure, the blue lights became dazzling. Arriving on the bridge, the wind blew tenderly on the two silent men, allowing their hair to sway. Ushijima slowly turned towards Tendou and asked. 

"How is life for you?" 

This was a difficult question to answer. Life experiences vary, which means they can be good, or they can be bad. It is safe to say that there is no sense of a good life for anyone—only good moments. There can be a bunch of various joyful moments and very little unfortunate ones, or the opposite. It depends on the person, but Tendou seemed not to have many good memories. How could he give a reasonable answer to such a complex question? Why was Ushijima so curious about his life? Was he that lonely?

"Life could be better, I have no friends, no family, and most people tend to despise me."

The sad man said confidently. His words were so blunt, but to Wakatoshi's ears, it was distressing. The buff man exhaled before continuing. 

"Do you ever want to escape reality?" 

It was quite a strange coincidence to have met Ushijima Wakatoshi. Tendou chuckled a bit before giving his opinion. He placed his sweaty left palm on his mouth, hiding the grin he tried to avoid. His new comrade was interesting, fun to hang out with, and already seems like a nice person. A benign cough escaped Tendou's throat, and the amused young man started speaking in his turn. 

" Yes, all the time."

All the time... Tendou realized how heart-rending he sounded. But Ushijima didn't appear to be perturbed by his response. Cars drove by blowing a gale, splattering the two men's pants. Both did not pay attention to the mess the vehicles made. They instead were staring at each other. The vapid expression on the green-eyed man concealed that he wanted to meet Tendou again and go further in their philosophical escapade. 

"I know a nice park. If you don't mind, we can spend more time together tomorrow."

It was the first long sentence from Wakatoshi. Unfortunately, he had to leave. Tendou smiled faintly as it was somewhat of a disappointment to be separated from his new friend. The tough man turned his back and smirked before revealing his staggering expression. He apprised a tremendous message.

"You know, people aren't afraid to die. They're afraid to live. So live your life to the fullest, Tendou." 

Those words stunned the young university student. Satori blinked his eyes sluggishly, wondering who this man that magically appeared in his life could be. He indeed made him happier, but he was still as peculiar as ever. 

*Are you my guardian angel?* 

Tendou murmured in his mind. A tiny smile could be seen on his pastel-colored skin. But as soon as he blinked one last time, Ushijima disappeared. As he stood in the middle of the bridge's sidewalk, the bewildered boy smiled with his eyes fully open. The rain started to fall again. 

*Who was he?*


	4. The taste of sounds

[This chapter contains drugs. Just a warning here in case you're uncomfortable with this kind of subject.] 

• • •

It was past dusk, and Tendou had to head back home. He pulled his shattered phone out of his pocket and remembered he smashed it on the cold, wet ground earlier. The defeated boy sighed as he remembered that he had to walk all the way to his place, in the middle of the night. The low adult noticed that he didn't have his umbrella anymore since he fell this morning. He must have left it there by accident. Life was not too congenial to the exhausted man. He lost the ability to care about almost anything since his family told him to live by himself. Thus forcing him to find a roommate due to the lack of money. According to them, Tendou's appearance was so embarrassing that he could not go out and enjoy nice family dates. Just thinking about his past made him sick to his stomach. 

Tendou's house appeared in the unlighted neighborhood. The front door slowly opened, making a high screeching sound. A grey-haired man was at the threshold, waiting for Tendou with his arms crossed, as he scowled at him. He often acted as a mother would act to the red-head, despite being of the same age. Semi, however, seemed more mature. As he approached, Satori looked at him with a guilty smile as if to say, "sorry, mom, I won't do it again." It would be funny enough for Tendou to burst out laughing in his roommate's face. Unfortunately, the willowy man couldn't bring himself to say those words. He had to come up with an excuse and expeditiously. 

" Traffic was heavy tonight."

Tendou giggled guiltily, scratching the back of his head in embarrassment as he closed his eyes. 

"You don't even drive, nor do you take the bus." 

Semi sighed, telling his roommate to get inside before he caught a cold. Once in the house, Semi put his right hand on Tendou's left shoulder and slightly pushed him towards one of the dining room's chairs. He stayed silent, hinting at Tendou to explain himself. Pouting and looking away, Tendou sighed. He disliked the fact that Semi parented him since he informed the latter of the situation he had with his family. Tendou placed his right hand on the tablecloth as he folded his arm to push himself from the seat in an attempt to escape the awkward situation. But a pair of hands tugged on his forearm, causing the latter to sit back on the wooden, brown chair. The graded haired boy stood up to stop his tired roommate. Shocked, Tendou finally talked. 

"Oh my God, why do you act like I'm your kid?!"

"I didn't see you in chemistry class today. I looked everywhere in uni, but you were nowhere to be found! And now you come back home at nine of the freaking evening?! School ended five and a half hours ago."

Semi swallowed his saliva before he continued to explain the reason why he scolded his roommate. He felt extremely anxious. 

"I was just worried about you. You're not alone, you know?" 

Tendou stood up to hug his concerned friend. He knew he cared for him. 

Semi Eita. A gentleman who was rather empathic with everyone he met. Tendou never really considered him his first friend; instead, he considered him like a brother. The first day he decided to open up and rant to his apprehensive roomie, he started being showered with affection. Semi's attitude seemed very forced. He wasn't used to people caring about him. The hug stopped as Satori pulled himself out of Semi's arms. He smiled at his friend to comfort him, rubbing both of his hands on each of the latter's arms. He then explained that there was no reason to be worried. Tendou talked about that strange fellow he met earlier. And that he evoked intriguing vibes. Eita chuckled as his anxiety began to vanish slowly. The grey-haired man tapped Tendou's arm and suddenly had an idea.

"Hey, 'wanna escape reality with me tonight?" 

Ushijima's face flashed in Tendou's mind as Semi pronounced those words. His sleepy eyes widened, and his mouth was agape before he asked:

"What do you mean by that?" 

"You'll see soon enough, come with me!"

[Listen to Mono No Aware - Hammock]

Semi grabbed Tendou's hand and brought him next to the couch, pushing his shoulders down to allow him to sit on the squishy sofa. Afterward, he sat on the mini glass table placed in front of the furniture while pulling a box with "medicines" inside. His fingers opened it, revealing two tiny pieces of paper with a yellow smiley face on each of them. While taking one of them out, Semi gave himself a boost to stand up and walked towards the balcony. He opened the curtains. 

" You might want to go outside at some point." 

Says the grey-haired boy winking. The puzzled face Tendou expressed started sweating as he had no idea what his roommate was about to give him. He sat next to Satori, crossed his right leg on top of his left one, and took one of the small papers between his thumb and index finger. Sticking his tongue out, he told Tendou to do the same and place the smiley face on his tongue. Tendou looked at his roomie as he was astonished by his actions and repeated his movements at a slow pace. Nothing happened. Forty-five minutes later, Tendou started to see the LED lights waving around the TV and walls. Semi changed the colors in an attempt to set a different mood. Dark blue lights flickered on to form a rather calming atmosphere; yellow made both men feel neutral, green made them feel at peace, and finally, pink set a dancing mood. Semi then stood up and began swinging his arms as he pivoted. 

"Know that we are exactly where we're meant to be, even though you may not be where you thought you would be~."

Semi shrank in Tendou's eyes, which caused the latter not to take any of his words seriously. He laughed. Semi grinned and turned on the radio to reveal a piece of nice atmospheric music, evoking a deep aesthetic ambiance in the room. The wind was gently gusting through the curtains. The pleasant smell of autumn calmed the two entertained men, despite their intense acid trip. Satori started tasting the music; the sound waves were morphing into different colors. Suddenly, Semi turned the LED lights into a deep red color, which became highly unpleasant for Tendou. It made him feel very anxious, while it made Semi feel rather hot. The perturbed boy rapidly ran outside, sweating. His roommate glanced at him, following his footsteps at an average pace. While Tendou tried to breathe, Semi placed his palm on his dense body. He put his opposite hand on one of their bicycles' seat, hinting at the sickened man to ride with him. Tendou was perceiving Semi's eyes melting every time the wind blew on his face. Everything was purple to him with traces that blended into each other. Both just took 100ug of LSD, but it didn't stop them from jumping on their bicycles and go on a fun midnight adventure. 

The fresh air calmed Tendou down as he was zig-zagging in an attempt to control his bicycle. He was doing a good enough job of not falling over. On the other hand, Semi was riding with no hands, zig-zagging, closed eyes, and a broad smile. The trees were whispering. The sound of the water from the river, not too far away, was delicious. While Semi was having his moment, Tendou took a different turn and found himself alone. Or, at least, he thought he was. 

" Are you an illusion?" 

Said the puzzled boy while staying still on his bicycle, which caused him to fall off it eventually. Landing on his butt and left hand, Tendou tried to stand up. A tall, muscular man stood in front of him. Ushijima Wakatoshi reappeared before Tendou's eyes that same night. An adorable smile appeared on the fallen man's face as Ushijima reached for his hand to help him go back on his feet. Thanks to this tall gentleman, the redhead could control his high even though these effects would last another nine hours. Wakatoshi pulled Satori out of the dirt, and their eyes met intensely before a conversation occurred.

"Have I escaped reality yet?" 

"Is it your dream to do so?" 

"Yes, it feels good~."

"Well, you haven't yet."

"Yea... I have to live my life to the fullest before." 

They both smiled.


	5. Euphoria

As they were both standing looking at each other, Semi arose from a bush. His usual spikey hair was damped as the water drops rolled down his rosy cheeks, hiding his pasty skin. All of his clothes were soaked. He could barely breathe; it was like he ran ten miles without taking a break. Ushijima and Tendou observed Semi with such perplexity; they didn't know what words to choose. The merged lines were still visible to Satori. Water was surrounded by dancing lines on his roommate, which made him feel even more bewildered. Wakatoshi questioned the bizarre ways the two men were acting. As he placed his first word, Semi interrupted him as fast as a mouse running from a famished cat. The red-haired man stared at him intensely.

"I fell in the river, the water was speaking to me, and it had the most beautiful voice."

Tendou's eyes shifted towards Ushijima to see a reaction. As his eyes swang in the direction of the strong man, the surrounding trees waved and melted. They were creating a melancholy sound to his ears. Leaves were flying, and Tendou could hear whistles. Everything had a sound to the stoned redhead. The silent, confused man noticed they were both under the influence of a hallucinogenic drug. As Wakatoshi mentioned, he assumed they took some type of substance; they both denied it. But they couldn't pull the wool over Ushijima's eyes, and they finally admitted it. For once, Semi didn't act like the parent. An idea came into the sober man's mind as he remembered a place they all could go to and have fun. A roller skating disco closed at three in the morning on the other side of town. Ushijima decided to drive them since the two high adults couldn't walk in those conditions. Not to forget, it would be a bit far to go on foot. A mini road trip was planned. 

As they approached the taller man's vehicle, they were astonished by the waving blue color. The Tesla's navy shade appeared like flowing water to their dilated pupils. Standing still with open, drooling mouths, Ushijima snapped them back to reality. Just by walking to the automobile, Tendou and Semi felt like they were spinning in the air, followed by merging and rotating lines. They arrived in the car. Tendou took the passenger seat when Semi found a water bottle he could play with on the back seat. As Ushijima sat and started the car, he opened his vehicle's roof to help his new buddies feel more comfortable. He then put some nice atmospheric music to set the aesthetic mood. 

[Music to listen to: Afraid to forget - Hammock] 

Five minutes passed, and the red-haired looked up in the sky full of stars. He brought his left hand to the seat belt clipper to unfasten it, as he stuck his head out of the car. Wakatoshi looked at him, unbothered by his actions as he kept driving in the pitch-black night. Satori's body was half outside as the nice breeze made his hair wave. He breathed the air that appeared in all different colors to him. Nothing was too trippy, or he just cared so little about the current situation Semi put him into. As the music became more intense, Tendou lifted his right and left arm to let the wind tenderly push him. His lips curved to create a little smile as he enjoyed the relaxing instant. 

[Tendou's POV]

The world seemed so beautifully written at that moment. Right there, I could understand the wise words Einstein once said; 

"The world, as we have created, is a process of our thinking. It cannot be changed without changing our thinking."

This wasn't part of my story. This was a moment I was living. A wonderful instant that brightened a dark night. Because it's only in the darkness, we see the stars. I felt alive, at last. I felt like I was happy for the first time in forever...

[End of Tendou's POV]

Semi tried to fall asleep, but everything was tremendously distracting to the grey-haired man. There was no time to sleep as the three fellows arrived at their destination. After getting out of the vehicle, the two roommates had an excited expression on their faces. Ushijima hinted at them to follow him as he led them to the disco's entrance. Once they entered the building, loud songs were playing. The three young adults spotted the roller skate counter and brought their legs towards the desk to order some for the rest of the night. The young fellow working had a bowl cut and dark hair. He smiled at the three men as he gave them the right sizes of rollerskates. Once they got the skates, they sat on the bench next to the counter and discussed. Ushijima informed his two friends that he would control where they skate to avoid collision and keep away from any injuries. Once they had their feet in the four-wheeled shoes, they began skating on the wooden floor.

Semi seemed to know how to control his high, as he already consumed acid a couple of times at parties he got invited to. Tendou, on the other hand, needed the company of his new friend. So Wakatoshi placed one hand on his shoulder and the other on his opposite arm, standing and skating behind him. Above them, the disco ball was projecting every single bright color they could imagine and giving all of our characters colorful tints. Tendou's heart started raising as he heard the sound of a piano playing a gentle melody every time Ushijima moved his fingers on his delicate body. He was sweating and felt hot to the point of being completely red. 

"Is everything alright?"

Said the muscular man, letting his arms wrap around his blushing friend's chest, allowing himself to caress him through his clothes. Tendou couldn't answer as he was too high and shy from the circumstances. Semi spotted them cuddling as he let himself roll without looking in front of him. He just stared at them, not knowing if this was reality or not. 

"Nah... it must be the LSD."

Said the graded haired boy running into a light brown-haired guy. His frail chest pushed down the individual as they both landed on their stomachs. His small body was on top of the man he had just hit. The boy couldn't breathe anymore, as he slapped Semi multiple times before the latter decided to get up finally. Tendou and Ushijima approached them and mocked Semi, saying he found a new boyfriend. The new fellow looked at all three men and smirked.

"Hey, my name is Shirabu Kenjirou. Nice to meet you. Do you guys have a curfew? I was looking for people to go to a party after. And I see you're definitely in the « party » mindset here."

Said Shirabu, winking, making sure he showed that he noticed the two men (especially Tendou) was under the influence of hallucinogens. Semi stayed silent and blushed, but Tendou accepted in an instant to steer clear from the awkward moment between Wakatoshi and him. Their new companion wrapped his delicate fingers around the grey-haired boy's wrist and pulled him on the dance floor while pivoting with him. Trying to convince him to come with the rest of his friends, Semi concluded that he would come. After all, he couldn't fall asleep as the substance he took doesn't allow him even to close his eyes. Thrilled, Shirabu pulled Semi and grabbed Tendou's wrist as well. The latter took Ushijima's wrist and took him with them. They were all skating towards the counter to take their rollerskates off and head to the party. 

Once outside, our four companions decided to hop on Ushijima's car. It was a large enough vehicle for the three men to hang out in the back, letting the green-haired man drive in peace. Arrived in the car, Shirabu took out a couple of colored makeup   
pencils, and sparkles in a jar out of his pocket. 

" 'Wanna look like pretty boys?"

Semi and Tendou pulled confused facial expressions as Shirabu smirked and removed the cap of a red-ish makeup pencil. He approached the pencil lead towards the red-eyed boy and started spreading the color under his right eye. Semi looked astonished.   
"Still don't know my name" by Labrinth was playing on the radio. 

[Start listening to: Still don't know my name - Labrinth for the rest of the chapter]

Shirabu then pulled out a mini brush and dipped it in the white and pink sparkle jar to lay the glitter out on Satori's pale skin. Some fell on his neck, but it added to the aesthetic aspect. Once he had done Tendou's makeup, he kissed him on the forehead as he slowly turned towards Semi smirking, hinting that it was his turn to get a makeover. He pulled out a pasty purple pencil, removed the lid, and came closer to him than he was with his roommate. He smoothly drew on the exquisite shorter man's skin as he didn't push the lead too hard on his face. He drew on the amazed boy's under eyes and right cheek in such delicacy, and it tickled a bit. But it felt good as he made the pencil dance on his skin. A small smile appeared on Semi's face. The sensation calmed the spikey-haired fellow. Shirabu's lips came closer to Semi's while he put the white and blueish glitters on his cheeks and under his eyes. The final touch was four little diamonds on his left cheek and a deep french kiss before backing off slowly. Tendou looked at the situation profoundly. The lines he could see around the two men were pink. They were dancing, leaving a beautiful blurry flow behind. He followed those lines until his eyes landed on Ushijima, minding his own business. The latter looked in the mirror above his head and saw Satori staring at him. They both blushed. This night was a long and interesting one. Quite Euphoric.


	6. Reality is a dream

Multicolor lights were flickering, and the music was booming as the four men entered the big house. The hall led to a long, white corridor covered by a soft red velvet carpet and hanging along the walls, framed boards of abstract art. At the end of the hallway on the left, they found a spacious living room where a brown leather couch sat in front of a glass table and a gigantic Television. Blade runner played as people around were distracted by food, dancing, games, and alcohol. The kitchen was connected to the living room as it was behind it. Everything was white and made of marble, and the furniture was crystal clear. Someone could unquestionably use them as mirrors. A wall separated the two connected rooms and the next hallway that led to a set of wooden stairs. Astounded, Semi brought up the fact that Shirabu's house was exceptionally huge. The young fellow couldn't deny that he was the son of a wealthy businessman who traveled a lot, which allowed him to throw parties whenever he wanted to. Shirabu smirked at the three adults, suggesting to start the fun.

"Let the party begin!" 

[Listen to: I know there's gonna be (good times) - Jamie xx]

Tendou, Ushijima, and Semi observed Shirabu chugging the gin bottle he had left on the marbled kitchen counter. He grabbed a spikey dark orange-haired man's hip and made him pivot before slapping his butt. Semi frowned as he reddened. However, he couldn't help but smile a bit, as it was a bit embarrassing to watch. Tendou bounced to the counter and seized a bottle of alcohol, but Wakatoshi took it away from him as quickly as possible. He implied that alcohol and acid don't go well together as it would make him extremely sick. The red-head, however, was still high, and the muscular man's words were visible. He wanted to eat them. He wanted to kiss the individual he met that same night. It was a feeling he had never felt before. But is he confusing friendship love with romantic love? Not to forget, he is high on hallucinogens. Everything is a wonderland to him at the moment. 

"Is this even real?" 

Asked Satori, looking at Wakatoshi lovingly. He grabbed the bottle and drank it without caring about anything that could happen to his digestive system. Tendou's left arm rose as he raised his middle finger towards him with a grin on his light-toned face. His trembling lips were still drinking the gin. Ushijima glared at the arrogant fool who just acted like a delinquent teenager. The makeup on Tendou's skin was still glimmering, and it reflected into Ushijima's eyes. The shorter man turned around and looked back at his new friend.

"I gotta live my life to the fullest." 

Shirabu overheard the conversation as he walked towards the latter. He put his hand on Tendou's back to push him in the direction of the bathroom. The washroom was humongous, with a bath that was already full, not of water, but blue, white, purple, and pink glitter. Shirabu indicated Tendou to strip and dive in to relax with a bottle of baijiu. Satori obeyed and pulled his shirt off, exposing his light-toned stomach and chest. As soon as he threw his shirt on the floor, Shirabu immediately pushed his fingers on the pale man's torso, lightly. Satori fell in slow motion, back first towards the glitter. The shimmers splashed everywhere onto Shirabu, who was pouring alcohol on Tendou's upper body.

Leaning his head back, Tendou brought himself to situp as he stuck his tongue out for the liquid to fall into his mouth. He was tremendously lightweight, meaning he got drunk quickly. Shirabu then concluded that his drunk companion needed to be alone, so he drank the rest of the bottle and walked out of the restroom. After a while, Tendou tried to get up; everything was turning around him. Colors were following his movements, his vision was blurry, and the floor was floating. It was strange, a good and bad feeling at the same time. He was drunk and high on LSD, all at once. As he tried to leave the bathroom, he felt like he was walking on walls with the floor being the ceiling. He tried to locate Ushijima as he placed his arms in front of him to avoid bumping into something or someone. Suddenly a pair of arms grabbed him from behind.

"Please... don't leave us."

Tendou raised his head fast, as he was confused by the voice telling him not to leave. He rotated his body to see who it was. Wakatoshi was standing there, staring at his intoxicated friend. The poor drunken man was baffled. But it didn't stop him from putting the palm of his shimmering hand on Wakatoshi's chest, as well as bringing his lips closer to the taller man's face. He slowly got on his toes, as his lips twisted into a wry smile, inching closer to Ushijima's lips. Unbeknownst to them, Semi snuck up from behind and broke up the moment as he screamed from excitement. He wrapped his fingers around the two's wrists, pulling them out of the spot they were in. He then brought them into a dark room, lit with bright, green LED lights. 

[Listen to: Turn away and return - Hammock] 

"It's peaceful here, isn't it?"

"relaxing..."

"Yes."

The green light was moving left to right and began to merge into a spiral. Semi and Tendou were rotating, letting their hair flow in the air. They were looking at the color following them around as it became hazier from time to time. They stopped. The tall, green-haired man glanced at his friend. Tendou saw his eyes shifting as he felt the need to apprise him of what he had in mind.

"Life is not a problem to be solved, but a reality to be experienced."

"And what brings you to say that, dear Tendou?"

"Once I live life to the fullest and be satisfied, I will escape this reality." 

A tear rolled down Wakatoshi's left eye as he informed his new friend he doesn't want him to leave his side. The redhead had a soft smirk showing on his face, implying that he doesn't want to go anywhere. Tendou observed Ushijima. His vision started to get fuzzy, and his head began to spin a bit. The substances he consumed that night were starting to have their side effects. Tendou passed out soon after that.

Once he woke up, Tendou found himself back in his room. He turned his head to his left and glanced at the clock hanging next to his bed. It read 11:38 A.M.

Was all this a mere dream?


	7. Missing him

Tendou weakly attempted to sit up on his bed. His legs were feeble as his unfocused vision slowly started to become clear anew. The frail adult put his right hand on his forehead, rubbing it delicately. He decided to shower, but as soon as the latter stood up, dizziness took over his body. He concluded that last night wasn't a dream, as he felt his naked, glittery chest. A smile and blush appeared on his face as he was relieved that he met Wakatoshi.

"I need to see him again."

He gradually sauntered in the direction of the bathroom to the right of his room. As he placed his hand on the handle, he twisted it, but it took the low adult several times to open the wooden bathroom door. He turned on the light and stared at himself in the mirror. He still had all the glitter, and makeup stuck on his pastel skin. The colored powder and shimmers had melted on. His face looked like it was beaten. Tendou reached for the shower handle and rotated it, letting the cold water flow on his nape.

[Listen to: When it hurts to remember - Hammock]

As the young boy languidly turned his head of wet hair, he peered the light switch. Satori proceeded to turn it off before setting foot in the chilly shower, with pants on. Lifting his head, the water on his face started to clean his body. Tendou's makeup rolled down his skin, making it look like he was crying sparkly blood. The bottom of the bath twinkled. The 6'2 man opened his mouth to allow some glitter in. He then closed his mouth and casually spat the shimmering liquid, running down his pointy chin. Tendou's red hair blocked his view, as his eyes were still half-opened. Unbothered by the hair and water around his eyes, the latter stared at the waterdrops falling in his direction. He was lost in his thoughts. Wakatoshi was on his mind. Unable to stand anymore, Tendou leaned to lay down in the bathtub to try and relax. He allowed his arms to extend on each side of the borders. Without doing it on purpose, the incapacitated gentleman clogged the shower drain. Tendou closed his eyes, but slowly the water raised gradually. He fell asleep in the bath, with the water level elevating until it reached his nose. Semi opened the door, walking to the toilet as he was about to use the bathroom. Luckily, he saw his roommate about to drown. Semi had good vision. He could easily see in the dark. He pulled his sick friend out of the cold liquid and yelled out his name.

"Hey! Tendou, what the hell!?"

Tendou coughed up water from his nose and grasped the grey-haired man's shirt, suffocating. He didn't understand what just happened, as he felt too weak to respond and think about the situation. Semi helped him out of the tub to recover, giving Tendou a towel and a pair of pajama pants. The red head's right arm was around Semi's nape as the latter held his left hip to avoid falling. Dragging him to the kitchen, Semi sat his weak friend on a stool. He was visibly hungover.

"My poor friend, you were so wasted last night. You must not remember anything."

Semi was right. All Tendou could recall was meeting Ushijima and the fact that he almost placed his thin, soft lips on his. Everything blurred out with colorful waves surrounding different gloomy rooms. The trembling boy lazily looked up and met Semi's doleful face.

"I can't get addicted to the pills you gave me last night, right?"

"You can only be addicted to the feeling of it. But it's not like any other harder drugs out there. So don't worry."

Semi explained, trying to reassure his roommate before asking if he enjoyed the feeling. Then he asked if he would retry the tabs. To which Tendou responded that he would not try it again in a million years, even though the feeling was incredible. Semi chuckled and pointed out that the alcohol he drank was a silly idea. He should never have mixed it with the acid. A sudden ache sprang up on Tendou's head. He brought Ushijima to the conversation, informing the mocking adult that he missed him. Semi put the palm of his hand on Tendou's right shoulder, cheering him up. He stood up and walked over to the fridge, and grabbed a bottle of water before pouring some in a glass. He handed it to his roommate. Satori drank it all in one sip, then let his head drop on the counter. He moaned as his fingers formed a fist. He wanted to meet Wakatoshi again. The tall and muscular green-haired man was the only one who could make Tendou feel special.

Tendou decided that he needed to go to the grocery store and buy some fruit for a potential energy boost. His roommate, however, hesitated and wanted to go instead of him. Or at least go with him. Tendou denied the invitation as he stumbled back to his room to put some clothes on.

[Time skip to grocery store]

Satori looked around, hoping he would bump into Ushijima. A middle-aged, strong-looking man collided with the red-haired boy, causing him to drop all the fruit he had in his basket. The man glared at the low young adult as if it was entirely his fault that Tendou bumped into him. Tendou's mental fortitude was much lower than usual, as he did not want to get into any disputes, or he would most likely burst into tears. He leaned over to pick up what fell on the floor, but the cruel man held onto Tendou's arm. That caused the orange he had to slip out. Sighing, he noticed that he was too weak to fight back. Apologizing, he quickly walked to the register and bought what was left in the basket. Which unfortunately was not a lot since Satori was too weak to pick up the rest. Leaving the store, he spotted his bullies lurking in the parking lot.

"Ah, shit... not now, please."

To his non-existent surprise, the odious boys found Tendou and decided to have a little bit of "fun" with him. They approached the saddened adult and started throwing random branches they found on the ground. They started running after him. However, Tendou's legs would not obey his brain. He was stuck. Accepting his fate, he just looked up at the sky, and tears rolled down his rosy cheeks. One of the repugnant adults shoved Tendou, causing the sorrowful man to hit the ground hard. Powerless, the dejected boy let the tyrants kick him around as they knock him down. A couple of seconds passed, and Tendou was left on the gravel with a bloody nose and forehead. Blood traveled down his chin, passing by his mouth, which allowed him to taste the iron flavored red liquid. The fruit he bought lay smashed on the ground. Thinking of Ushijima, Tendou believed that he would never meet him again. The beaten man was certain that he was never could be happy.

"Why can't I have nice things like everyone else? Why can't I be happy and have a good life, like everyone else..?"

The rain started pouring on his abused figure as he closed his eyes, trying to rest.


	8. An interesting acquaintance

"Hey buddy, are you ok?" 

"Helloooo?"

Tendou casually opened his left eye before completely lifting the opposite eyelid. He saw a dark brown-haired boy, blocking the sunlight that was hitting his ghostly skin. The anemic man tried to get up but had difficulties moving his arms and legs. A hand reached out for Satori as he clutched the man's wrist, pulling up to give himself a boost and get on his feet. Tendou's trembling body could hardly stand up. As the man noticed, he couldn't help but share one of the apples he just bought with the sick young adult. Giving Tendou a faintly smile, he introduced himself.

"My name is Hayato Yamagata, you?"

Tendou weakly stated his name. He couldn't speak, and he felt pain whenever he opened his mouth. 

"Why do you let yourself get into trouble like that? I mean, I don't know you, but I already pity you. No offense." 

Tendou stayed silent, glancing at Hayato from time to time. The brown spiky-haired boy did not appreciate dull people. It frustrated him as he wanted to shape individuals as more robust and more secure people. Satori attempted to bite into the apple, but it was obvious he could not chew normally. Sighing, Hayato took the fruit and pulled out a dagger to cut the rounded red food. Tendou smiled with wide, open eyes. Bringing his hand, which was holding the apple slice, towards the boy, Hayato grinned and tried not to laugh from embarrassment. The debilitated man opened his mouth a little bit and sucked on the apple. This is all he could bring himself to do. Hayato quickly removed his hand, disgusted by Satori's action. Stating that he doesn't swing that way in a joking manner. The little juice that Tendou tasted was enough to give him a bit more energy. He finally had enough strength to say his full name and affirmed that he was hungover, to which Hayato convulsed with laughter. The latter informed Tendou that he had to go to work, so he gave him his phone number and made sure to tell Satori to text him the next time people ganged up on him. He gave another apple to Tendou and left, towards his destination. Confused, Tendou let him go while observing him walking away. What an interesting acquaintance. 

Once the puzzled boy safely made it back home, Semi wondered what took him so long. As soon as he walked inside, he examined his roommate's wounds and immediately rose to his feet, sprinting towards him. 

"Yo, WHAT THE HELL?!"

Tendou just stared at Semi with a smile, placing the apple Hayato gave him in his friend's hands. He then turned around and walked towards his room. Semi astonishingly looked at the situation, not knowing what to say.


	9. You’re f*ckin' amazing

It was now 5:57 P.M. Tendou felt much better after getting something to eat and taking a nap afterward. Laying in bed, Satori looked up the window and noticed the stars shining above the city. He desired Ushijima's company. A soft sigh escaped his throat, blowing out a strand of hair lying on his forehead. The young adult placed both of his arms behind his head and was about to close his eyes when he began to daydream. Wakatoshi came up within Satori's mind, causing a sudden urge to go outside and find him. He bounced out of bed and sprinted to the front door. When he arrived at the door, he looked around to check if Semi was there. Once confirmed, he slowly opened the door and closed it softly behind him. 

Tendou was strolling along a nearby park, kicking small pebbles around. Accidently, he kicked the rounded grey stone further than expected as it slightly hit someone's shoe. The red-haired boy raised his head, noticing his friend. Tendou stood still, gazing at the approaching green-eyed man lightly smirking before he decided to sprint towards him. He threw himself ontop, giving him the tightest hug he has ever offered before. Relieved that Ushijima existed, Satori could not stop the tears from rolling down his face. Wakatoshi swiftly reacted as he gently wrapped his arms around the crying man. The embrace lasted for a few seconds before Tendou slowly backed away, staying close to his friend's face. 

[Listen to: Repeat until death - Novo Amor]

Tendou gradually lifted his left arm to gently caress Ushijima's right cheek as he brushed his other hand against the latter's chest. The infatuated boy stared into Wakatoshi's eyes with intensity while giving him a little smile. 

"Never leave me again, please... you're the best thing that ever happened to me. If I ever lose you, I don't know what I would do anymore."

Ushijima nodded and moved Tendou's chin between his thumb and index finger before informing Tendou that he would never do anything to hurt him. Satori leaned for a kiss, but Wakatoshi backed off as he took the man's hand instead. He wanted to show him the park that he mentioned yesterday. Tendou was surprised but relaxed as they started to walk. An incredible garden with blue and red roses appeared in their visions. It smelled like heaven. This scent would remind Tendou of Wakatoshi Ushijima every time he walks by. The stronger man pulled Satori's arm so his body could land against his. As he lifted his arm, hand in hand, Ushijima moved his palm on top of his friend's back. It looked like the pair was starting to slow dance. Wakatoshi leaned and kissed Tendou passionately. His tongue explored the thinner man's mouth as they cuddled, exchanging an ardent french kiss. Both of them slightly smiled in the kiss and as they fell on the wet grass below. Tendou fell gracefully onto Ushijima's torso, as they both laughed. The red-haired boy balanced himself on the ground, laying down on his back. He adjusted his head to look up at his friend, examining his face.

"You're f*uckin' magnificent, Wakatoshi Ushijima." 

The man blushed as he heard those words. They sought his soul. He remained silent as he approached Tendou in an attempt to kiss his forehead. He unmistakably was the only one who was able to make Satori cheerful. Whenever they meet, the lonely boy's heart could not help but beat faster than usual. Even only thinking about the tall, sturdy man, Tendou's cheeks flush as bright as a tomato. The two lingered on the cold turf as their conversation continued. Both of them stated that the stars were visible, as they wished to touch them. It was a merry night, till sudden deep thoughts traveled through Satori's mind.

[Listen to: We watched you disappear - Hammock]

"Say, Ushijima."

"You can call me Wakatoshi."

"Okay... Say, Wakatoshi~kun, why do we have to suffer?"

"I see. Well, life is a game that you have to win. There will be obstacles that you have to avoid. But with some, you'll have to fight and be strong. Life isn't easy. Difficult roads often lead to beautiful destinations."

"Isn't the purpose of our lives to be happy?" 

"The way I see it, if you want your life to be all sunshine and rainbows, you'll have to put up with the rain."

Tendou didn't respond. He just looked up at the inky sky, thinking of an idea as an excuse to spend more time with Ushijima. He stood up and spun around, letting the fresh breeze blow on his skin. He whirled and whirled until he felt dizzy, as he was about to collapse. Everything looked fuzzy. Wakatoshi caught him before he fell on the flower field, mentioning to be careful as they aren't allowed to touch the flower blossoms. Satori giggled. Ushijima did not know how good he made him feel. For the first time in his life, Tendou had someone he could trust. 

"We are just beautiful people with beautiful problems~."

"Tendou." 

"Call me, Satori, beautiful."

"Are you under the influence again?"

"Just drunk on love~."

Ushijima smiled in relief as he brought up the idea of going on the Ferries wheel not too far in the distance. The pair stood up as they began to walk towards the wheel, hand in hand. During their leisure stroll, Ushijima brought up the other night, explaining what happened to him after he fainted in the LED lights room, laughing at the situation. All that could be heard was their joyful crackling. When they arrived at the wheel, Wakatoshi took out his wallet and paid the teller that activated the ride. The latter opened the door for his friend, and they entered the Ferries wheel, hand in hand. As they sat down, their fingers brushed together. Tendou leaned onto Ushijima and rested his head on the man's shoulder, closing his eyes. 

"If this is escaping reality, I want this forever~."

Wakatoshi didn't reply. He looked in front of him as the wheel began to move. He looked back at Tendou, who dosed off on his shoulder. As he slept, Ushijima examined his resting face while he stroked the sleeping boy's cold cheeks. He kissed his head. When Satori finally fell asleep, Ushijima finally answered.

"Just don't leave... stay."

The taller man felt tired, gradually closing his heavy eyes. The wheel stopped spinning as they reached the top, their resting faces illuminated by the sunset. An hour past and Ushijima woke up from their slumber. They were now reaching the bottom of the wheel. He slightly shook Satori to wake him up. The latter moaned for a bit as he lifted his head, drooling on his friend's arm. Ushijima informed his companion that it was getting late and it would be better for him to go back home before Semi finds out and gets upset. Tendou reluctantly agreed after giving a small pout. He didn't want to leave Wakatoshi as they only hung out for three hours. But he had school tomorrow, and since he took today off to rest from the wild adventure last night, he had to go. The pair got up and started walking towards his house. 

As he arrived home, Tendou climbed the stairs before turning around. He waved goodnight. Ushijima blew a kiss, and Tendou recuperated it. As he was about to go inside, Semi opened the door. Nervous about Semi's reaction to him coming back late two days in a row, Satori apologized right away and bowed. For once, the grey-haired boy didn't mind as he trusted Ushijima. He softly grinned instead, tightly holding him in his arms. One thing was still bothering the Semi, though. Tendou didn't respond to any of his text messages.

"Oh, that. I will have to buy a new phone tomorrow after uni. It broke while I was running yesterday."

The boy felt guilty about informing his roommate about the incident. Semi asked Satori if he wanted to sit down on the couch. The red-haired man slightly glared at his friend before responding.

" I ain't-"

"No-"

"doing this-"

"Tendou, I just wanna watch a movie, haha!"

Satori laughed. Relieved, he kindly refused as he was exhausted. Walking towards the bedroom, the worn-out fellow thought of Ushijima's lips on his. He smiled, glad that he finally got a close friend.


	10. Something I’d rather forget

[THIS CHAPTER MIGHT BE DISTURBING FOR SOME READERS.]

• • •

[The jellyfish song (MUSIC BOX VERSION)]

[Tendou's POV (flashback)]

I was never popular in school. Most kids stared at me like I was a scary animal. Their glares felt like it was freezing the blood in my veins... I despised it. When a kid pushed me, others joined in, starting a one-sided battle. I usually laid on the cold, hard floor, letting myself get beaten. Oh well, I wasn't born to have good looks anyway. We often say: don't judge a book by its cover. Let me tell you. It's not a saying people often respect. Even my professors seemed too afraid to help me sometimes, and they get paid for that. I even have to cut my hair into a bowl cut to look less intimidating. Instead of intimidating, they mocked me. It didn't change the fact that my big eyes stabbed their souls every time I looked at them. 

One day after school, I was walking the 2 kilometers needed to get home. My parents felt that it was too embarrassing to be seen with me in public. They knew I wasn't loved in school. Some of the mean kids I noticed followed me home. Grabbing pieces of broken glass found on the sidewalk, they used that to slice my arm. When I arrived home after they let me go, my dad scolded me. He kept telling me I wasn't his son and that I would end up having to live alone when I start high school. My mom? She was a drunk, as she drinks all the time. I never had a good relationship with my parents. I'm an only child, I have no friends, and I have parents who loath me. My only friend was mister bear. A plush I found in a big dumpster when I thought I lost my parents. It turned out it was them trying to abandon me when I was five until the police found me and asked me who my parents were. When I arrived home that night, it wasn't a hug that awaited me, but a freezing basement, my father locked me in whenever I "wasn't behaving well." I wasn't eating, nor was I drinking for whole days sometimes. This hell lasted till I reached high school.

My parents then finally disowned me. Since then, I've been waiting impatiently for that moment. Even if people in school were still trying to get on my nerves and disrespect me, I kept a big smile on my face as I was happier than ever. Sad, isn't it? When you're content that your own family abandons you. I know some people can relate to me. I can't be the only one who is the black sheep of the family. This is how I try to remain strong. I know a lot of others who are in the same boat as me. And we are all fighting this battle. 

*Hold on... who's that? Does an ace want me on his volleyball team? But who is he? There's a bunch of others who seem to invite me with open arms. Aren't they afraid of my looks? Are they not scared of my huge eyes, small pupils staring into their spirits like I'm going to smash them into pieces? They're all so blurry, and I can't recognize them...* 

[End of Tendou's POV (end of flashback)] 

Tendou just bought his new phone as he exited the store. Slipping his hands into his pocket, the young fellow contemplated the blue sky. It's been a while, and it hasn't rained in his city for some time. The weather was nice, nice enough to hang out all day under the warm sunshine. Inspecting the area around him, Satori noticed two kids bullying a little girl. Fed up with the attitude of the children, he sprinted towards them to stop their harassment. The two intimidators didn't have time to fight back as they were afraid of Tendou's reaction to their cruel action. The little girl observed the red-haired man, hesitating to thank him as he seemed a bit scary to her. She ran away instead. 

Tendou didn't mind; however, he smiled as he reached into his pocket for his phone. He noticed a piece of paper that was lying in his pocket. The phone number Hayato gave him yesterday was still there. It reminded the young man that he could contact the brown spikey-haired boy. He brought his phone next to his chest and dialed the number.

"Hello? this is Tendou. What were you saying yesterday about the next time I see anyone being violent?"


	11. Show them what you’re capable of!

Tendou and Hayato briskly walked to the latter's house as the sunshine hit their backs, causing them to sweat profusely. Their shirts were soaked with sweat, but what the red-eyed fellow didn't know is that he was about to be perspired. As they passed Hayato's lawn towards the front door, Tendou felt chaotic energy coming from his new acquaintance. Entering the house, the living room was already visible. Countless empty beer bottles and crushed coca-cola cans could be seen scattered around on the floor. A mini TV was stationed on top of a small wooden table. The red-haired boy couldn't believe that the kitchen seemed like as it was behind a half-broken wooden door next to a ripped sofa. It smelled like rotten, wet wood. 

Hayato placed a finger on Satori's back and gently led him toward the basement where there was a hidden boxing room. After every step, it seemed like the stairs were cracking beneath them. Hayato's room was located in the cold basement, where he had a nice 4K TV, microwave, and a couple of musical instruments. Such as a piano and a guitar. Furthermore, there was a metallic door that caught Tendou's interest. As he smirked, the spikey brown-haired took small steps, one at a time, towards the door. As he opened it, the Satori could see many boxing bag stands and a boxing mattress. Grabbing ahold of Tendou's wrist, Hayato pulled him towards one of the bag stands as he gave him a pair of boxing gloves. He backed off and pretended to be one of the frail man's bullies. Satori was confused at first, as Hayato groaned in despair. The latter placed each of the puzzled man's hands in the gloves. He softly sighed, closing his eyes. Only one glare from the brown-eyed fellow made Tendou understand. 

As Hayato continued to shout to get Tendou to activate his inner monster, the latter hit him multiple times. But his hit was very soft and weak. Hayato's patience reached his limits as he pushed Satori violently on the floor, causing the red-haired man to hit his head hard so hard that a drop of blood rolled down his forehead and nose. Tendou weakly tried to get up, desperately trying to give himself a boost. As he gradually lifted his head trembling from the soreness, the damaged boy glared at the man, who shoved him, with one eye half-opened. He rushed to the spiky-haired man as quickly as he could, but the Hayato sidestepped, causing Tendou to fall anew on the floor. Hayato grinned in an attempt to trigger Satori's anger. He noticed the man didn't move. 

"BRING IT OOOOOOOOOON!" 

[Listen to: Louder - Yelawolf & Sam Trocki (ONLY available on SoundCloud/YouTube]

Tendou's exasperation took a wrong turn, as he swiftly turned around and rushed towards Hayato to hit him. The spiky-haired adult then moved his head left and right to avoid Tendou's punches as a response, insulting him as he dodged. Flashbacks of Ushijima saying we have to fight and put up with the rain before getting a rainbow life flashed in Satori's head. His hands were moving much faster, and Hayato couldn't follow the indignant boy's movements anymore. The man got out of that difficult situation by ducking to escape Tendou's punches, rolling on the floor. He caught his breath before yelling anew.

"IS THIS IS ALL YOU GOT?! YOU'RE WEAK!"

Tendou paused, having to catch his breath as his opponent walked towards the counter next to the mattress. He grabbed the water bottle that he uncorked. 

"remove your shirt." 

"huh?"

"REMOVE YOUR SHIRT!"

Tendou, startled, immediately obeyed, discarding his damp shirt. As soon as his chest was exposed, Hayato splashed freezing water on his torso. A squeaky scream escaped his throat as the brown-eyed man pulled him to a training bag, telling him to practice his punches. Tendou nodded and started to punch again, again and again softly.

"SHOW THEM WHAT YOU'RE CAPABLE OF! 

Tendou punched faster, faster, and quicker.

"THEY ALL DISRESPECTED YOU!"

Tendou punched harder, harder, and harder.

"THEY FREAKING TREATED YOU LIKE A DOG! THEY USED YOU AS A PUNCHING BAG!"

Tendou had all sorts of flashbacks of his parents hitting, slapping, and spitting on him. He remembered every boy and girl laughing at his hair and humiliating him in front of the whole class. Talking behind his back as the teachers observed, and didn't do anything to stop them. 

"BUNCH OF F*CKIN' JERKS, I'LL GET YOU NEXT TIME! I'M A HUMAN BEING TOO. I EXIST FOR A REASON. LEAVE ME ALONE!"

The red-eyed angry man astonished Hayato as he threw his final, most powerful hit to the bag, flinging it on the other side of the room. The staggered boy had his eyes wide opened and curved his lips into a tiny smile. Excited, he informed Tendou that if he can muster this type of energy against his intimidators, he'd have the mentality to confront them. From now on, Hayato wants Satori to think of what just happened in this room whenever he gets ambushed, to boost his confidence. The red-eyed man, exhausted, let himself fall on the floor, back first, as he extended his arms. He smiled as he transpired, hardly being able to breathe. The latter's damped hair was tangled as it hid most of his face. Both men were looking at each other with a grin.

Tendou and his new friend stepped outside, taking a walk and breathing the fresh evening breeze, holding different flavored slushies in their hands. Tendou had a cherry-flavored one, and Hayato had a grape one. It was refreshing as the two gentlemen were fatigued from their workout. As they laughed, they began to talk about random things. Tendou was walking faster than the brown-haired fellow. He turned around to see if he was following him, Hayato disappeared. To his surprise, his surroundings completely vanished. Only nature surrounded the bewildered man. As he continued to keep walking, Tendou thought about Ushijima. That same man appeared before the confused boy's eyes whenever he was alone like an angel coming from the sky. A silence occurred before Tendou offered his drink, reaching out his hands for the taller man with a wide smile.

"Want some slushie?"


	12. Let’s escape together

Our two lovers relaxed sitting on a nearby bench, looking at the stars and savoring their taste buds with the frozen flavored water. The illuminated merry-go-round shined on their skin as music followed the rotating movement of the carousel. They stayed silent until Tendou broke the silence by suggesting to go on the ride. It was an excellent idea as the couple galloped towards the toy horses, laughing. Once on firmly set, silence returned as they could only hear air gusting through the orange and yellow leaves. Strong hands wrapped around the bars, muscular thighs against the fake animal, Wakatoshi keenly observed his companion. 

[Listen to: Sometimes - Goldmund]

"Satori, remember when I asked if you ever wanted to escape reality?"

Tendou looked in front of him before responding to the green-haired man's question.

"Of course, I think about it every second." 

"Yesterday, I had a dream that you left. That your dream of escaping this reality came true; you fulfilled it as you lived your life to the fullest."

The quiet night continued, as the young adult didn't reply. The cold and scammy hand the red-eyed fellow wrapped around the carousel horse's neck, slowly brushing against the shining toy in the direction of his thighs. Lifting his head to contemplate the evening sky, the boy took the deepest breath he has ever taken before yelling out!

"Let's escape together now!" 

Ushijima glanced at the man he fell in love with, uncertainty covering his face. Satori slightly turned his head to his left to see his facial expression. 

"Let's leave this city, let's go on adventures until the day death separates us. Let's live our lives together, and only the two of us, forever."

"Ok."

Wakatoshi watched on as Tendou's confidence was attractive to the man. He just observed the enthusiastic man with such astonishment in his eyes that he could not think of another word to say other than "ok''. The redhead turned his head anew to study the pitch dark sky and smiled.

"When I was high, I could see everything from another perspective. I felt like I could solve all of my problems, thanks to the dots Semi gave me. That yellow sunshine both destroyed and made my psychology better."

The buff gentleman softly glared at Tendou. He was worried about how joyful the latter sounded talking about the drug. Satori informed him that he wouldn't touch acid anymore. That he had him, Ushijima, by his side. He was sure that their love could solve all of his problems. The avid man jumped off the moving horse and climbed on top of his friend's horse, face to face. He now sat in front of the taller man, looking at him with intense eyes before placing a soft kiss on his left cheek. This was followed by Wakatoshi's tongue entering Tendou's mouth. Satori's adorable peck quickly turned into a slow, passionate kiss. Both of their hand caressing each other's faces as the merry-go-round kept turning. After a few minutes of cuddling, they both pulled away, touching each other's foreheads. Ushijima mentioned that he could steal a pickup truck from his dad. This way, they could fit realistically more stuff inside. Content, both get off, hand in hand, running jointly towards the taller man's house. 

Once at the house, Ushijima informed Tendou to stay in the back and hide while he looked for the truck keys. He obeyed and calmly stayed put where his lover told him to. After a couple of minutes, Wakatoshi appeared from the corner of Tendou's eyes. Excited, the man bounced out of his spot and joined Ushijima as they both got in the car. Before they could go any further, they had to stop by Satori's place to pick up some necessary matters. Tendou carefully opened the front door, walking through the hall, glancing around. It wasn't too late. Semi wasn't home yet. Pulling the new phone out of his pocket, he glanced at his text messages. Semi texted him that he was going out to buy some groceries.

Semi:   
-Hey! I'm about to buy those ramen and chocolate ice cream you adore so much! We can have a horror movie night since it's spooktober. I'd like to spend some quality time with my non-blood-related brother-

[ Listen to: Numinous - Hammock] 

Tendou replied with a smiley face. He thought about leaving a note as he went to grab a piece of paper in one of the kitchen drawers. Tendou left both the note and phone on the kitchen table so Semi would see it when he got home. He walked into the bathroom, grabbed his toothbrush, toothpaste, shampoo, soap, and hairbrush. When he got to his room, he grabbed a gym bag and put a bunch of random clothes inside. Before leaving his room, he took one last look before crossing the threshold. Softly smiling, he was satisfied with the time he spent there. Walking towards the exit, he felt a sense of melancholia. Closing the door behind him, he sprinted towards Wakatoshi's truck. Ushijima asked if he was alright, to which the saddened man responded; 

" I'm great, let's go~." 

A couple of minutes passed, and the two lovers were already in the countryside—a road trip to an unknown destination. Tendou sat down near the open back of the pickup, as he lay down on his back. His head was upside down, looking at the road behind him. The upside-down view of the landscape behind the car was illuminated by beautiful orange sunlight. The burning wood scent was pleasing to Satori as he thought about the way he abandoned Semi. Meanwhile, when the latter entered his house and called for Tendou, he saw the note left on the table right after putting down the grocery bags. Puzzled, he picked it up and started reading. 

|The past year has been a blessing, thanks to you. You are the brother I never had, the family I deserved, and overall, a good friend. I'm leaving this note to let you know that Wakatoshi will be taking care of me from now on... I'm also leaving my phone. I want to live my life to the fullest with the man I love, without any distractions. I was hoping you could take it as a present. I bought it recently. There is a new contact; Hayato Yamagata. He's a cool dude; you guys could be friends and even new roommates! I am sorry if I'm leaving in a hurry... You once told me we are where we're meant to be. Life leads us on different paths. Mine is with Wakatoshi. I suggest you look for this Shirabu guy again. He seemed to be interested in you! Anyways, this is where I'm taking off, my dear friend. I was glad to be part of your life, and I was happy we had fun times together. Farewell, my friend.|

Tendou closed his eyes as he fell asleep in the back of the truck, under the cool, relaxing breeze. While Semi sat alone at home, with tears rolling down his face, smiling with both a bit of sadness and relief. He was happy that Tendou found someone who made him feel special. 

"Farewell, my friend..."


	13. Time is running out

[Listen to: We're hitting everything (ambient) - The American Dollar]

Morning broke as the two lovers sat in the front seat of the car. Ushijima was driving as Tendou sang to the songs his friend put on. They have roughly been on the road for about two hours now. It started to get late as Wakatoshi turned left to go into the forest he drove alongside. The broken branches were cracking under the vehicle's wheels as it was shaking from the bumpy ground. The autumn atmosphere set the mood for a romantic night for the two guy friends. Northern lights took shape, dancing in the starry sky, changing from green to purple as the colors blended. The green-haired man stopped the car and parked behind a tree. He took a large blanket out of his bag, big enough to keep him and his friend wrapped up, nice and cozy. He laid it out on the back of the pickup truck and placed two fluffy pillows, an extra thinner cover, and a remote. The remote had many buttons as it was used for the LED lights located on the inside of the truck's back. They both climbed on the back of the car and snuggled between the duvet and the sheets. 

"Do you want to see something cool?"

Ushijima fired up the lights as they turned blue, as well as turning on his phone and a mini projector that projected a romantic movie onto the immense tree in front of them. Their fingers touched, brushing onto each other's skin as light reflected onto their eyes. Tendou leaned in to kiss Ushijima's cheek while he rested his head on his chest as they watched the movie.

"A thousand-star hotel, this is better than any building I've ever slept in." 

The redhead's hand caressed his lover's biceps as he fell asleep on the man's torso, drooling over the dark navy blue shirt. Wakatoshi tried to watch the movie until everything went blurry. He was too exhausted to keep watching as he slowly dozed off. 

[Listen to: Before you sleep - Matt Tondut]  
[Tendou's dream]

A bright light blinded the red-haired boy. It soon vanished, divulging a mysterious man staring at him.

"Hurry up, live your life to the fullest, quick. Time is running out."

The stranger confused Satori. In that dream, the latter couldn't speak. He couldn't make any sound whatsoever. Suddenly, the scene transitioned to Tendou being underwater, trying to talk. The redhead looked up and saw red and blue lights through the surface of the water. The boy was stuck at the bottom of the sea, back against the illuminated, wet sand. He observed, eyes open, as he was underneath the salty water. When he lazily closed his eyes, he could hear Semi's, Hayato's, Shirabu's, Goshiki's, Taichi's, and Ushijima's voices. Their tones were dull. Everything turned into a shadowy mist as the dream gradually started fading away. 

[End of Tendou's dream]

Satori slept in the back alone. Dawn was hitting his skin as the morning birds were singing. The young adult tiredly awoke, noticing Wakatoshi wasn't there. Tendou jumped, panicking as he was afraid that he lost the love of his life again. 

He violently turned around to see if he was still there. To his surprise, the taller gentleman was by the passenger seat door, wringing out his soaked shirt. The man was shirtless. Red cheeks appeared on Satori's face as he stuttered, trying to tell Ushijima he was glad he didn't leave his side. Worried that Wakatoshi could catch a cold this morning, Tendou bounced out of the car and sprinted towards him, as he embraced him with a hug. His face reddening even more. Let's say that it was for his own pleasure as well.

"Ah! Wakatoshi~Kun put on a shirt. We're outside!"

"You were drooling all over me last night." 

"WHAA- I don't remember doing anything dirty with you last night!~"

Tendou quickly crouched, pressing his hands against his face to cover his blush. The shy young adult was teasing the taller confused man. Ushijima walked past him and put on a new shirt. Tendou stood up and followed him. They both had an idea, going on a morning walk while taking advantage of the morning's gentle breeze. They put on light coats and scarves just in case the riverside was too chilly. Wakatoshi walked ahead as the shorter boy strolled along behind him. After a couple of seconds in silence, the redhead rushed in very close towards Ushijima's back, putting his icy hands in the latter's warm pockets. Resting his head on his lover's nape, he kept walking, feeling the dry leaves cracking under the soles of his shoes. The refreshing October air reminded him of how much fun he had with Semi last year during Halloween—enjoying a warm slice of pumpkin pie and hot green tea while throwing dead leaves at each other. 

"Don't you miss your friend?" 

Tendou sighed, laying against Ushijima's upper back.

"For me, it was like leaving a member of my family behind. The only one who ever respected me."

Soon after that, the green-haired man suggested going to a beautiful beach, three hours away from where they were staying. Thrilled, the shorter gentleman accepted and hugged his friend tighter. Observing the clouds, Satori felt the warmth of the sunshine hitting his pale skin. A gorgeous eagle flew through the sky. 

"Do you wanna fly Wakatoshi?"

"That'd be cool." 

"When you fly, you're free. I want to be as free as an eagle." 

The buff man didn't take any more steps as he suggested they turn back to the pickup. Tendou nodded in agreement. Once they got back to the vehicle, both men tried to organize and clean everything before continuing their trip. An hour passed, there was no noise in the car as Wakatoshi didn't turn on the radio. Satori, a bit hungry, reached for a granola bar. It was the only thing he ate in the past twenty-four hours. As a way to pass the time, he liked to balance his index and middle finger as if his hand was running on the road while Ushijima was driving. His childish behavior never failed to make his lover chuckle. They both made each other feel vigorous. As they smiled, full of life, Wakatoshi eventually turned on the radio to add some music to increase the "party" ambient sound. Singing along with the windows down, they were the only ones on the road. The red-haired boy reached outside the window as he extended his arms out, pretending that he was flying. 

"I'm flying!"

The taller man laughed and just enjoyed every second of this unforgettable moment. Tendou Satori was living his life to the fullest, escaping reality as he always dreamed of. All, with the person he fell in love with.


	14. The ocean

[Listen to: Calm surrender- Music Within]

The ocean is vast. As vast as unconditional love, love living deep inside one another. Brutal waves happen, but cold calming water isn't rare. What would happen if the ocean disappeared? Would there be no more sea, lakes, rivers? We could theoretically lose 71% of our water supply. The energy to the poles would be nonexistent as we would die faster than we think. Just like we need a type of energy to keep love between each other. Tendou needed love from someone. With a small branch, he traced a little heart on the thin, white sand that felt soft under his body. Beside was Ushijima laying down, tanning, trying to take advantage of the silence the sea offered him. The waves splashing played a melody, sparkling, as they reflected the pink color of the rosy sky. Seagulls chirped as they flew by in circles. The ocean is everything Tendou wanted to be and more; Beautiful, mysterious, wild, and free. Mostly free. 

  
The boy looked over towards Wakatoshi's resting face, as he recommended that he should dive in the shining, rose liquid. Agreeing, both men removed their shirts and pants, then sprinted towards the sea. Covered by the freezing water, the lovers played in the water, splashing at each other. The water temperature didn't seem to bother any of them as they enjoyed each other's company. They slowly swam towards each other, approaching as their lips smashed together, letting themselves purposely slide underwater. The green and red hair tangled together as they were floating undersea, illuminated by the sunshine that pierced through the water. Hands were touching, grabbing, and caressing as they felt each other's cheeks. Their tongues danced inside, fighting for supremacy. Arising from underwater, the pair giggled as they temporarily separated. Ushijima wrapped Tendou's legs around his waist and placed his strong hands on his lover's back. Intensely glaring into each other's eyes, full of beauty and love, they connected both of their foreheads. Tendou wanted this moment to last forever as waves surrounding them swashed against the couple's backs, gleaming on their skins. Escaping with Wakatoshi was the best decision Satori has ever made in his entire life. The taller man turned, causing his favorite redhead to fall behind him, creating a fun moment they could remember later on. 

"I feel so alive all of a sudden. This has never happened to me before."

"It happens. 'Wanna go for ice cream?" 

Getting out of the water, the pair realized they didn't bring towels. Shivering, Tendou got closer to Wakatoshi and pressed himself onto his arm that soon swaddled his trembling, cold body. They immediately found a small ice cream shop. Tendou ordered a chocolate cone as Ushijima chose pistachio. Sitting on plastic chairs, the two flirtatiously rubbed each other's fingers, and two nearby men threw a couple of insults at the couple. However, they paid no mind as they were in love and happy with each other's presence, but that didn't prevent others from directing offensive words at them. Insulted, Tendou looked down as the green-haired man got up, getting ready to send the cruelty right back at those punks. As soon as the stronger man's got up from the seat, long fingers grasped his forearm. Pulling him down, Tendou stood up instead, rushing towards the two delinquents. He was taller than them. He glared at them, fixing their eyes. Tendou violently grabbed both of the boys by their shirts, letting them know how mentally strong he was. And that no one should mess around with him anymore. 

As soon as they ran away, Tendou fell on his butt but kept his head up to contemplate the sunny, blue sky. Taking a deep breath, he smiled, glad that he could confront the people who attacked them. Thanking Hayato, he felt the wind blow on his skin as he turned to Ushijima, showing that they could leave. The situation amazed the latter so much that he deeply fell more in love. 

"There is a festival taking place tonight. It's Friday night. We should go and have fun."

Ushijima's suggestion pleased the red-haired fellow as they returned to the car. An odd idea tickled Tendou's mind as he explained to his companion that he didn't want to use the truck. He wanted to walk to the festival, hand in hand, taking the opportunity to experience a pleasant walk alongside the beach. 

[Listen to: The lights - Brian Tyler]

One step at a time, they strolled along the sand, letting the faint breeze play with their hair. Tendou was trying to keep his balance on a narrow sidewalk border as he was walking. After a couple of minutes of silence, the latter took Wakatoshi's left hand, jumped off the border, and ran in front of the green-haired man. Turning around to face him, Tendou smirked as he slammed Ushijima's palm against his torso. 

"I want to see the world with you and be as free as the ocean!"

Tendou pulled the muscular man closer to him as he kept talking more softly. 

"I want to do so many things with you, Wakatoshi~Kun." 

Ushijima picked Tendou up, carrying him like a prince charming who just saved the princess from a dangerous dragon. The couple enjoyed the romantic moment they were having, wandering along the peaceful sea. Time passed. It was already five in the afternoon. Satori laid down on Ushijima's back, his legs and arms wrapped around his lover's body. His warm breath whispering against Wakatoshi's right ear; he had his eyes lazily open. Focusing on the brightness of the ocean, the latter tiredly mumbled words into his friend's cold ear.

"I cherish you above everything else in my life... Since the day I met you, I've felt different in the most incredible way. Thank you for existing~."

Tendou gradually fell asleep on Ushijima's back.

"Thank you... God, for letting me meet the best angel you sent on Earth..." 

As Tendou dozed off, Ushijima let a tear roll down his cheek, holding Tendou's tibias tighter. The ocean wind blew slightly harder, causing the tears to fly away. 

The ocean, a massive pool of wonders. Just like Satori to Wakatoshi. A fascinating boy he met a couple of days ago, under the LED lights. Love at first sight, something the muscular man didn't know could happen to him. Following the festival's path, the two men walked three more hours as they arrived at their destination. 

But anything was okay, as long as he remained by Tendou's side. The man he fell in love with.


	15. Free (Final chapter)

[Listen to: Window - The Album Leaf]

"Psst, hey. Satori... Saaaatoooriii... It's time. You must join us."

"Huh? who is talking..?"

The sleeping boy opened his eyes. He saw Ushijima sitting next to him. Another odd dream, again. A frail smirk took shape on his tired face. His appearance seemed weaker than before as he looked pale. The young adult wondered if the festival was near. Wakatoshi replied with a nod. They were already there, on a hill, waiting for the event to commence. The latter took Tendou's hand and confessed.

"Satori, you have a beautiful soul. I want to be with you forever."

He kissed the palm of his lover's hand and got up on his feet. Tendou followed his movements, but he felt dizzy. He stumbled a bit, landing in Ushijima's muscular arms. Tendou, however, started crying, not being capable of finding any words to describe his pain. His friend began sobbing as well. They were two lovers, shedding tears together. 

"L-let's ha... Waka..toshi. Let's ha-ave fuunnn..." 

"Shh... we will..." 

"S-stay fore-ever with me..."

Ushijima couldn't bear to hear Tendou suffering, as he kissed him deeply. Shifting his fingers through his hair, letting tears roll down his face. Unexpected love. This was the best thing that ever happened to Satori. 

Love. What is love? Love is complex. A mix of emotions, behaviors, and beliefs associated with intense feelings of affection, protectiveness, warmth, and respect for another individual. Something Tendou never experienced until he met Ushijima. They both pulled away from their kiss as they headed down the hill. The pair had an idea, a way to have a lot of fun and live their lives to the fullest. Once they made it to the festival, the couple sprinted towards the lanterns. The deep dark sky evoked an atmospheric ambiance as the stars were almost invisible due to the lights floating around in the air. Ushijima and Tendou ran from food stand to food stand, ordering various items such as ice cream, hot beverages, grilled fish on sticks, and dangos. They appeared to be enjoying their time together, laughing, playing tag, hugging, and making out with each other. This was Tendou's dream since forever. But something was bothering him... He knew what this feeling was. Like he already met Wakatoshi and the others years ago. That this happiness lived in him long before this week, ah, that feeling, some believed he could not obtain. For some people, happiness consisted of realizing a strange dream. Why can't we all be happy? Well, If you look for perfection, you'll never be content. Life is far from being perfect. You can't wish for the ideal situation as it will have ups and downs. And that is entirely normal. Tendou believed in hell on earth and was convinced heaven would be after death. 

Resting on the grass, Ushijima had his eyes closed and hands behind his nape. Tendou looked at him.

"Why can't we all be happy, Wakatoshi~Kun?"

"The notion that a human being should be constantly happy is a uniquely destructive idea."

Ushijima believed that being sad and mad was part of a healthy balance of emotions. 

"Thanks to you, though, I am happy. I feel free. I don't want to escape reality anymore." 

"Just what did you mean by that anyway?"

A cold breeze flew through the air blowing on the lovers, causing the conversation to die. As the pair went towards the mini red bridge surrounded by cherry blossoms, Satori laid his head down Wakatoshi's shoulder. The latter mentioned he wanted to try the rollercoaster. It was located in front of the flowery river they were standing above. Satori ran towards the ride, pulling on his lover's hand. Once on the wagons, they fastened their seatbelts and raised their arms. Tendou was the most excited one.

"LIVING LIFE TO THE FULLEST, LET'S GOOOOOO!"

The ride started moving.

[Listen to: The night we met - Lord Huron]

Scenes of the couple started floating around in Tendou's memories. They were currently on a carrousel licking an ice cream cone they shared. Then they danced, cheering with cups of sake. Ushijima even picked Tendou up surprisingly and flipped himself until they fell on the grass. The grass that transitioned into the water, rolling them down the hill. They were surrounded by colors colliding with each other, waving in the air. As the music followed the colorful surrounding, Tendou went after the waves. It reminded him of when he took the LSD Semi gave him, but without the adverse side effects. Tendou found himself floating in the sky and softly landing on the ground next to a merry-go-round. He saw Ushijima, telling him to join him. He rushed to his lover, took one of the bars that weren't attached to a toy horse, and spun around it. His left hand was unconnected from the golden bar as he grabbed Ushijima's chin, caressing the latter's skin with his long fingers. All this seemed like a dream that didn't make sense. A dream that Tendou didn't want to leave. 

Not too long after, the two lovers were under a little tent, savoring all sorts of different sushi. Tendou adored sushi. It was one of his favorite food. 

"If I had one wish, it would be that I don't want to wake up from this dream. Everything is perfect for me. And I wouldn't replace my time by your side with anything else."

Ushijima smiled as he excused himself to go to the washroom. After the green-haired man left, Tendou took a mini sip of his chocolate milk. Looking down, happy, a bright figure illuminated the boy. As he looked up, he saw a shining woman, that soon made the scene white. Wakatoshi came back and could not find his lover anymore. Searching the area for him everywhere, he yelled his name but could not hear him. He began to panic. As tears started to roll down, he listened to his name from afar. Relieved and content to hear his lover's voice, he ran towards the words that echoed in his ears. As soon as he saw Satori, Wakatoshi stopped, shedding one last tear on his cheek. 

"Ha..ah, Satori, don't do that again. You scared me." 

[Listen to: Repeat until death - Novo Amor]

Satori slowly turned around to look at Ushijima, as he wasn't facing him before. Smiling at the taller man, he started talking. 

"This isn't real, right?" 

"Huh?"

"You aren't real, and I'm just dreaming..." 

"Satori I- No..."

"All that time, I thought I was finally happy. But really, my wish could only come true when I was dreaming..."

There was a moment of silence, and the redhead kept expressing his feelings.

"...This isn't just a dream... right..? I know you're by my side right now... I can hear you. I can hear Semi... I can hear the others too... But I can't s-speak. You think I can wake up, but... I don't think I can... Wakatoshi~kun..? I-I loved you... since the first day I met you... four years ago, in high school. And I fell in love all over again a couple of days ago... in a deep sleep that will never end..."

"No... Sa-tori... You said you wouldn't leave..."

"Thank you... for accepting me... Thank you, Wakatoshi Ushijima, for loving me. Thank you... for everything."

Flashbacks of the Shiratorizawa team playing together, having fun, and laughing together flashed. Goshiki giggled while Semi slapped Shirabu, who just hit Reon with a ball. Taichi and Hayato smirked while Tendou was in the background laughing so damn hard... Those were moments he always craved and never had until Ushijima invited him to his volleyball team. 

Wakatoshi weakly walked towards Tendou, crying. Tendou slowly started drifting away, disappearing, turning into a bright transparent figure.

"No... please! we were going to live life to the fullest... we were going to be forever together!" 

A flashback of Tendou falling down a bridge was seen. Ushijima's screaming voice echoed. The red-haired boy was underwater, unconscious, as red and blue lights began to flicker. That scene transitioned to a hospital bed, as the vitals monitor made a long, unpleasant noise. Ushijima, Hayato, Semi, Shirabu, Reon, Goshiki, and Taichi cried by the deceased adult's side. Goshiki hugged Ushijima, sobbing hard. Ushijima looked at Tendou's face, not being able to stop his tears from falling. 

[Ushijima's POV] 

Tendou Satori. You were a man who taught me how to smile. I could only curve my lips around you as you made the surroundings lively. Since that "accident," you fell into a coma. And since then, we all have been visiting you until the nurses told us you were not going to make it. From that day, I was the only one that came to see you. Wishing you were able to talk back to me. I heard that you were able to hear me from one of the workers. At least there was that... but I wished I could have seen your bright, red eyes open one last time...

[End of Ushijima's POV] 

Wakatoshi stood by Tendou's grave near the ocean, placing flowers in the vase. As the wind blew, the tall fellow heard a whisper in his ear. It sounded like Tendou saying his name. Ushijima looked up towards the sea and saw a beautiful eagle. Smiling, he thought;

"I guess you escaped reality. You are free now, Tendou." 

\- Dreams can often lead us to the happiest moments we always wished we had. But we must stay strong as we can bring those dreams to reality. So, my child... live your life. It is full of surprises. Full of negativity, but full of positivity as well. This is what makes life beautiful; Pain, beauty, sadness, happiness, and memories. Happiness often starts in dreams... Wakatoshi's happiness flourished when he met Tendou in high school and when he met him in that dream, under the LED lights.-


	16. Love hurts (bonus chapter/prequel)

[Hello guys! I'm back, and I decided to add an extra chapter. It will be a prequel of the actual story. This chapter happened before Tendou's coma.]

• • •

Most beautiful things in this world cannot be seen or heard but instead must be felt with the heart. Life without love is like a tree without blossoms or fruit. The best things in life are each other. It's better to have been loved and lost than never to have been loved at all. Tendou was alone, sitting on a bench during a party held by his classmates. The young fellow had a drink in hand, observing the surrounding area while hoping that his best friend shows up soon. Nearby, teenagers were heard playing beer pong to his left, and to the right, a few girls were playing suck and blow. Tendou sighed, imagining Ushijima being one of those ladies, while he was the other one. 

The party was a suggestion courtesy of Reon. After graduation, the boys had the urge to throw a gathering to take advantage of the moment as a chance to see each other one last time. All Tendou was doing, though, was eating chocolate filled with rum and drinking straight vodka. These two mixed well together as he put a piece of chocolate in his glass, then picked it up a couple of seconds later and sucked on it. As he stood up, everything went blurry. Disoriented, he brought his hands to his eyes as he rubbed them to regain his vision. Nothing else could be done as he was tipsy. Tendou started to move, losing his balance from time to time. Weakly, he held his glass that was slipping out, as it hung on between his right index and middle fingers. One small step seemed too heavy for the young man as he passed the threshold and let his weight push open the door. His eyes faced the ground as he slowly raised his head and noticed the pool. The beautiful shining water seemed to be enticing enough for a quick dip, so he marched over to it. The glass he held fell out of his hand, but that didn't bother him too much. As Tendou drunkenly strolled to the pool, people stared at him, wondering what he was doing. 

Meanwhile, Ushijima had just arrived. Semi stepped up to greet him and offered a glass of wine. He graciously refused, as he doesn't drink alcohol. Suddenly, in the corner of his eyes, Wakatoshi saw Tendou balancing himself at the edge of the pool. It took him a second to rush towards the swimming pool, in an attempt to try and catch his best friend before he could slip. As Ushijima's arms grabbed on to the frailer man, they both fell into the water. Underwater, Tendou gradually opened his eyes. The moment he saw the green-haired man, he smiled. They hugged each other as they stared into each other's eyes. As they were floating, Ushijima told Tendou that he should go inside to dry up. 

[Listen to: I was all over her - Salvia Palth]

Once inside, Ushijima realized that Tendou was under the influence of alcohol. As Satori entered the room after he changed, Wakatoshi's face had an astonished expression as he noticed his red hair down. Tendou's weak smile made him want to hug him. He approached his friend, but the latter pushed him onto the bed. Smirking, Tendou climbed on top and took out some sparkling green makeup pencil that he stole from the bathroom. Wakatoshi was confused, but he put his hands on Satori's back, bringing his body closer. Tendou uncorked the pencil and began drawing underneath Ushijima's eyes. The pencil lead caressed the latter's cheeks. Despite Tendou's condition, his hands handled moving the pencil lead smoothly, and it felt satisfying to the touch. This nearly made Ushijima fall asleep. 

"You LoOk p-pretty like thIS... Wakat-shii KuN~."

As the buff man heard his friend's words, he chuckled softly. Without letting Satori question his giggling, Ushijima put his hands on his red-eyed companion's head. He slowly pushed himself towards each other so their foreheads could connect. Smiling at Satori, he replied to his funny remark. 

"Not as pretty as you, Tendou."

This was when Tendou knew there was no pity in life. The sad part is, he knew he could never be with his best friend. Depressed, he started to cry, burying his face into Wakatoshi's chest. Both tightly embraced each other, as Tendou kept sobbing louder, shedding tears onto the tall man's torso.   
It was hard to admit for the redhead that he loved Ushijima more than he loved himself. That he hated everything about himself, but he fell so hard for his best friend. Unfortunately, Ushijima came from a strict household. Him being left-handed almost made his family despise him to the point of nearly being disowned by them. Starting a romantic relationship with a man would cross the line. His mother would do anything to ruin his career if he came out. Tendou was the one who refused Ushijima to talk about their love life. He had more empathy than anyone Ushijima knew.

[Listen to: Always - Peder B. Helland] 

[Tendou's POV]

Maybe I was destined to fall in love with people I knew I could not have. Perhaps there is an assortment of people waiting for me to find them. Waiting to make me feel the impossible over again. I just wanted him. Only him... He made me feel special. The way his eyes would watch me when I was doing my blocks back in high school. I felt cool in front of someone for once, instead of feeling like I was a monster. I feel like love hurts when it is never supposed to hurt. Love should heal. It should be your haven from misery, to make living f*ckin' worthwhile. So yea, love doesn't hurt. Loving the wrong person does. But with Wakatoshi~Kun, I feel like he wasn't the wrong person. Maybe it was just the wrong time. Nothing made me happier, and nothing made me sadder than him. 

[End of Tendou's POV]

[Tendou's letter to Ushijima] 

Wakatoshi ~ Kun... you are my haven, my happy place. The one I will always call my best friend. I left volleyball forever because I didn't know if people would accept me again and not be afraid of who I am. But you, my miracle boy... You befriended me so easily. We connected effortlessly. I hope that in another life, I will be able to tell you that I love you. 

Wakatoshi, I love you. And I will always admire you, your personality, your talent, your beauty, your everything... I wished hard for us to be together without any issues to get in our way and without anyone trying to ruin our lives. I guess this life wasn't the best one. But continue to make me proud. Keep working hard; reach your goals. I know you can do it! I will be watching over you~ 🖤


	17. In a parallel universe (Bonus chapter/Alternative chapter/if Tendou never took away his life)

⚠️ TRIGGER WARNING: Suicide subject ⚠️ 

[I am back again with one last chapter on what would have happened to Tendou if he didn't decide to take his life away...]  
• • •

[Listen to: Frailty (for the dearly departed) - Hammock]

During a nice peaceful day in the park, Tendou patiently waited for Ushijima on a brown wooden bench. Joyful laughs of children playing could be heard afar. Tendou didn't want to wake up this morning. He was having more fun sleeping, and that's really sad. It is really unfortunate to have this mindset, as it was almost like a reverse nightmare. For example, when you wake up from a nightmare, you're relieved, but for him, it was like waking up into a nightmare instead. Tendou noticed Ushijima quickly approaching and scooted over to make room for him to sit. After greeting him, he stared deep into Ushijima's dark green eyes, which gave him a boost to get onto his feet and insinuating that he wanted a hug. Once he felt more comfortable, he wanted to bring up what was bothering him. Tendou began talking.

"Ushijima... I am not feeling too good right now. I feel depressed. You don't understand the desperation of having someone say, I love you just the way you are because you're wonderful. You don't understand that I don't remember anyone ever saying that to me. My personality is so demanding, and it is difficult for my friends because I crumble and fall apart. I want them to love me even though I am not fun. I lie in bed, I cry all the time, I do not move, I do not-"

Ushijima interrupted Tendou by kissing him in public. He wasn't afraid anymore of anyone judging him or how his family would react if they found out. He loved Tendou. The redhead cried. He could not get a word out. It's so hard to talk when you want to kill yourself. That's above and beyond everything else, and it is not mental, It's physical, like it was physically too hard to open his mouth and force words to come out. When they do, it is not smooth, and it doesn't work in conjunction with your brain the way ordinary people's comments would. It felt like words come out in chunks as if it came from a crushed-ice dispenser. You stumble on them as they gather behind your lower lip. So you keep quiet. 

"Do you... love me, Wakatoshi~kun?"

"With all of my heart." 

They walked over a bridge, alongside a deep river. The type of river that you could rip your skin off against sharp rocks if you fell in. It could cause you to meet your death in a second, without any suffering. Even though drowning sounds like an unpleasant way to die, it sure seemed like an attractive option. Staring at the flowing water, Tendou wondered if Ushijima would not care about him anymore if he disappeared forever. But that was wrong. It would stress him out if he saw Tendou jump off the bridge. If he committed suicide, it would give Ushijima depression for weeks, for months, for years... forever.

"Don't you understand Tendou? How much I love you, and how much I wouldn't want to live without you?"

Ushijima placed his hands on Tendou's, stepping forward to kiss his cheek. 

"I feel like I am a burden... Our love is too different for us to be happy. I was just a mistake-"

"There is not a person in this world who is a mistake, no matter how different that person may be!"

People walking by started noticing the argument, watching from afar. Wakatoshi started yelling at Satori, getting tired of the way he kept degrading himself. He took his hand and dragged him away from the bridge.

After what happened at the park, both lovers decided to get away and booked a night at a hotel, spending some much-needed quality time together. Nothing meant more to Tendou than spending time with the love of his life. The red-haired man went outside and sat on the stairs staring at the pink and purple LED lights glimmering in the neighborhood. Ushijima observed him and smirked. Looking backward, Tendou says;

"Wakatoshi~Kun, are you alright? you're looking at me funny."

"You are beautiful." 

If Ushijima didn't drag Tendou off that bridge and spent time with him that night, the latter would have fallen into a coma. Spending a week in a cold hospital room and eventually pass away.

[Tendou's POV] 

I felt like my heart was broken, that I could not feel joy again, that at best there might be a little contentment, but nothing that will help. Everyone I knew wanted me to get help and save my life. "Try and pick up the pieces and move on."   
I tried to, I wanted to, but I could not do it. I had to lie down with my arms wrapped around myself. Eyes closed, falling asleep, grieving. Until Ushijima came into my life, I had no real supporters; however, our love was somewhat forbidden. It created an uncomfortable sensation in my soul, pain in my heart every time I looked at him. I thought of him and spent time with him... Depression. That emotion is considered a disease. Please... depression isn't a disease. It is a normal response to abnormal life experiences. No one should be feeling depressed on the regular. But you know what, life is cruel. What can we do about it? Everyone goes through storms. Some go through more significant storms that feel like they go on forever. But once that storm is over, you don't remember how you were able to make it through. You aren't sure whether the storm is over. But one thing is sure; when you get out of that storm, you won't be the same person who walked in. 

I look at him, and the most important thing I realized was; I'm not alone. 

You are never alone. Happiness is a choice, but it is also genuine. Because there are good things that can happen, if we focus on those moments that depression is trying to take away from us, we will find happiness. 

Life is not cured. It is managed. 

In bed, face to face with him. Feeling his warm breath hitting on my pale skin. He closed his eyes two minutes ago, but I know he is still awake.

"Wakatoshi~Kun?"

"Hmm..?"

"I need one of those hugs where you kinda forget whatever else is happening for a minute."

He wrapped his arms around me, kissing my forehead. 

Time and time again, I pinch myself when I see you next to me. You are a dream come true, Wakatoshi~Kun. The chances of meeting you are like finding a needle in a haystack - a miracle happened. That is why I call you; my miracle boy~


End file.
